More than one path to success...

Many of my PhD colleagues who are either not married or have not had children, yet, ask me how they are going to "do it all?" They look at our role models in academia, some of whom are divorced or who have opted not to have children, and they wonder if they, too, will have to sacrifice marriage or children to "have it all."

In my old age, I can finally tell them (from some experience with this) that we don't have to accept the defined career paths, as prescribed by others. We can blaze our own trails. If that means we want marriage, children and a career, then we can "have it all."

An editorial in the New York Times today, addresses this issue, saying that educated women are "getting a bum rap" from the press, and I agree. Just because we don't follow an accepted, prescribed or "normal" career path that men follow, does not mean we are not contributing to society in meaningful ways or that we are not able to raise our children and have careers, as well. It just means that we choose differently. We don't need high power status every day of our lives--we need the balance that comes from knowing we have a role in our children's lives and we have a career that fulfills us. We are not "opting out"--we are redefining what it means to be successful.